And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
