Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
