I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize
