Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
