Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
