My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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