Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
