Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just want to make out with him forever
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
