There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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