Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
