Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
