He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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