Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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