I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
