he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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