Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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