I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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