I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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