Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
false alarm, still single
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
