he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
