I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Found your dick twin last night
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
