She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
