the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
