your thong is hanging out like whoa
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
