All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
