I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
