Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
