and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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