I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
