you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
