He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
