ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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