Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
