I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
