Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Dicks are not precious.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
