i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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