I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
