its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
