i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
