oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Little spoons don't ask big questions
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
