this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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