You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
