I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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