She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
