So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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