Your tits are I can't wait for
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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