i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
