I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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