I only kidnapped one of them. chill
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
