Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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