Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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