He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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