It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
